We’re getting better at talking to users, validating ideas, and taking an outside-in perspective. But if that’s the case, why do 70% of ideas still fail to turn into profitable products?

Beyond challenges like time to value and organizational politics, one key reason is that the way we validate ideas is often biased, even when we have the best intentions.

I’ve been guilty of this myself.

Early in my PM career, I pushed hard for customer validation. I believed in talking to users, and I wanted to make sure we were solving real problems. But looking back, I realize the questions I asked mostly served to confirm my own ideas.

And often, by the time we spot these biases, it’s too late. You probably recognize these:

A customer says they’d buy a feature, so you build it. However, with long B2B sales cycles, you don’t realize that no one actually cares until months (and a lot of investment) later.
You validate a problem and build a solution, only to find out that users already have an easier workaround.

Sound familiar? We've all been there. The good news is that there's a way out.

That’s exactly what The Mom Test by Rob Fitzpatrick is about: learning to ask the right questions so you get real insights, not just polite validation.

Fitzpatrick’s recipe is simple but powerful:

Talk about the customer’s situation, not your idea.
Focus on the past: how they solved the problem (if it’s even a problem), not hypothetical future behavior.
Listen more, talk less.

One big realization for me? You only succeed when there’s a real commitment. A nice conversation, nods and enthusiasm mean nothing without having a clear next step planned.

My key takeaways

Here are my four takeaways on how to apply this in practice:

1. Aim for conversation, not validation

One of the golden rules of the book: don't pitch your idea, start with the customer’s world.

It’s easy to lead with “Hey, here’s my idea! What do you think?” It feels good at the moment. But most people will nod, tell you it sounds great, and you’ll walk away feeling validated. Except you haven’t actually learned anything.

Instead, dig into why the problem matters to them, what they’ve already tried, and what they’re spending on it now. The trick? Anchor to real, past actions, not opinions. If the problem is big enough, people will have strong feelings about it.

Here are some good vs. bad questions to ask:

Misleading (bad) questions:

“Do you think this is a good idea?” (Obvious trap)
“Would you buy a product that does X?”
“How much would you pay for X?”

OK-ish questions:

“What would your dream product do?” (This can be insightful, but still hypothetical)

Better questions:

“Why do you bother?” (Uncovers motivation)
“What are the implications of that?” (Defines impact)
“Walk me through the last time this happened.”
“What else have you tried?”
“Where does the budget come from?”

2. Honest feedback requires casual conversations—But how?

Now that you know what to ask, how do you actually get honest answers?

One of the most insightful takeaways from the book is that the more formal the setting, the more likely people are to just tell you what you want to hear.

This hit me hard. Because I can immediately see how this is true, but it is not how I am used to doing things.

But I still wonder: how do you remove the “business” from a business conversation? Especially when product teams often rely on incentives, like:

B2B partnerships to influence product development
Gift cards or discounts for user interviews

Without those, why would people spend time with you?

Fitzpatrick suggests alternative ways of getting insights like hosting meetups, starting podcasts, or getting warm intros. These work well for founders, but what if you’re inside a product team where you do not have the same open field?

I’d love to hear from others, how do you get to these honest settings and answers?

3. Commitment is the real success metric

One of Fitzpatrick’s biggest points: you haven’t validated anything unless there’s a real commitment.

Some examples of soft (and misleading) signals:

“Looks great! Let me know when you’re ready.” → Nudge: “What does ‘ready’ mean for you? Want to be part of the alpha test?”
“I can introduce you to some people when you’re further along.” → Nudge: “Who specifically? What do they need to see first? Can you intro me now?”

Until someone is willing to invest time or money, you have not validated your idea.

What you are looking for are better signals, like:

Signing up for an alpha test
A letter of intent
Paying for an early version
Setting up a team meeting

If I had pushed harder on this earlier in my career, I could have saved a lot of time building features that never got used.

4. Don’t let insights get lost

If you do this right, you’ll uncover gold. You’ll know:

What the real problem is
Who cares enough to solve it
How do they currently solve it
What excites them

That is the fuel for innovation, but none of that matters if it stays locked in your head.

I’ve seen too many great insights get lost because only one person talked to the customer. You need to share these learnings constantly if you want them to be effective.

How?

Define what you’re trying to learn upfront.
Summarize emotions, not just facts.
Document purchasing behavior, budgets, and key stakeholders.
Write everything down, rotate insights, and share as often as possible.

This is what will allow you to have the same picture of reality, and move quicker forward.

Final Thoughts

This book is a great reminder that curiosity drives great businesses and products. Asking better questions isn’t just about getting better answers, it’s about avoiding wasted effort and bad ROI.

It gave me practical insights into user validation, especially around creating the right setting for honest conversations and the power of nudging for real commitments.

If you’ve read The Mom Test, I’d love to hear your thoughts! What tactics have worked well for you and your team?

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