Women..we are often our toughest judge, we normally put more effort than our males’ counterparts to make sure that everything is flawless, and we really rarely feel entitled. I see this in myself and I observe it in all the women I have the pleasure to work with or mentor.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that one reason for our constant desire of being perfect is that we do not have enough representation. We measure ourselves with a really defined stereotype and everything that diverges from it is considered like a ”less good version”. We feel like impostors, trying to mimic behavior that is not ours and feel out of place in certain situations. Because the only thing we have seen and known is how man act in a certain situation.

The only way to change that is to show that there is another way. To talk about and find female role models that we can look up to and learn from, especially in the tech space.

This is why today, on international women’s day, I decided to share the story of how I entered the tech world and became the CPO of one of Sweden’s most loved products. To show that everyone can do it, that the path is not always straight and that if I did it, you can too!

These are the most important lessons I learned.

Failure is part of the journey: keep on believing in yourself

I came to Sweden 10 years ago, I had no network, I did not speak the language and I had no clear agenda on what I wanted to become in my professional career. Mine was a life choice and not a career choice and by taking, I put everything that I had created career-wise, on the line.

It was scary but at the same time, I did it firmly believing in myself. I knew that even starting from zero if I would put the work in and keep the curiosity high, I could get where I wanted.

It was definitely easier said than done. My path to product management was anything but linear and my belief in myself was challenged more times than I can remember.

I started by thinking that I wanted to continue working in the fashion and e-commerce space, but it didn’t work out. I did project management, then I got bored by it and wanted something more, but the opportunity seemed to never come. I had countless of no, many doors closed in front of my face, some new adventures that didn’t go the way that I expected, many lows and doubt. I started to think that if someone else was always better than me, it meant that I was not enough, that my Swedish would never be good enough, that my experience would never be sufficient for someone to bet on me, that I would never get where I wanted to be. I seriously started to doubt myself for the first time in my life, until one day, one door unlocked.

And that was not by magic, but thanks to one person who first believed in me and gave me more responsibility than I thought I could handle. That was the key for me to grow and to find faith in myself again. The important lesson here is that I was always the same, what changed was that I stopped doubting myself. And from that day on, everything else got much easier.

There are ups and downs, rarely things go as we have planned them, but the most important thing is to not let failure define you. Keep on going, take the leap of faith, put the work in and results will come.

Create your opportunities and then take them with a leap of faith

Some people think that opportunities are defined by being in the right place at the right time. Even though there is certainly a bit of fatalism in everything in life, I firmly believe that opportunities are created. That door that opened for me, did not open by chance.

If I think back at my career I can see how every step up I took is a combination of something that I did and someone believing that I could take on more responsibilities than I thought I could handle.

It is a mix of commitment, skills, curiosity, do not be afraid of speaking up, and honestly a leap of faith.

Every single time that I took a role with more responsibility in my career I thought: how am I going to handle this? Why me? I had this panic moment the first time that I became PM for a team, the first time that I got personal responsibility for a team of 10 people, and the first time that I was offered the role as CPO.

I learned now that panic is a sign that I am going outside my comfort zone. And if I am there is because someone on the other side believes that I can do it and supports me to get there. When you are given the opportunity, forget the panic, take a big breath and embrace it. No matter how it goes, you will learn and that is the best gift you can give to yourself.

Find your own voice…

I am so used to being the only woman in the room that I almost do not think about it anymore. But I still feel the burden of it sometimes.

Being the only woman in the room is not easy. Getting the trust of a group of guys is not easy (especially the older ad more experienced the guys in the room are), leading them is not easy, fearing that you will be judged by how you look is not easy. I remember clearly all my first days at work, the redness in my face the first time I had to present an idea or take a stand. If you have been part of a minority in any work or private situation you will know what I am talking about.

This is why I think one of the most important things that a woman in tech has to do is to find her voice. You have to know exactly what you think is important, what you value, what you want to stand for in order to keep your own vision and not be biased by the group.

This process is not easy, especially because there are not many women in product development that we can take as role models (yet).

To me finding my voice meant defining which are the things that I am not willing to compromise with. For example, I believe strongly in working as a team and not as individual stars, creating an environment where everyone can speak up, not being afraid of conflicts, and always seek feedback. It took me quite some time to find my voice and I am still working on defining its details, but I clearly remember where it all started.

And it was a simple thing like not compromising on how I dress. I always loved fashion, high heels and all-things-stylish have always been my uniform but while that was a given when I was working in Milan, it became a burden while I took my first steps in the tech world. I got to know that some people judged my ideas before hearing them because of my clothes and I was more often complimented for my style than for my work. My first reaction was to adapt to my surrounding, losing my fashion voice, to focus on my product development one. But quite soon I realized that one needed the other, I could not be fully me if I had to disguise. So I embraced it, and never second guessed my shoes ever since.

…and then find a place where you can use it

Once you find your own voices it is extremely important that you put yourself in a context where you can use it. One thing that I learned on my own skin is that in order to succeed, you need the right environment.

One of the biggest lessons I learned is that company culture, the people you surround yourself with, and your boss are the most important factors for you to be able to bloom. So choose them wisely.

If I could go back knowing everything that I know today, I would have probably left some places earlier because now I realized that I could have not grown there as the culture was not right and the people around me were not right either.

What I learned is that it is when I work together with people who are smarter than me at what they do, that challenge me every day, that believe in me, and are open to growing together that I create the best results for my professional growth.

The tech world is a complex space, new frameworks, technologies, and companies come and go at the speed of light and it can really be overwhelming to think about keeping up with all this by yourself. No matter how curious and a fast learner you are, even the world’s most curious person will not be able to do it alone. Your growth depends on the people you work the closest with, make sure that every single one of them will make you better and you are set up for success.

Be the role model you wish you had

I think that one of the biggest problems for women, and especially women in industries that are clearly male-dominated is representation. I recently read this article about how we should stop telling women that they have impostor syndrome and instead focusing on why we impose the same stereotype on any leadership.

Therefore if you can: share your story, make other women feel that they are not alone, show that there is another way to lead.

It is in our power to make one another’s better. Every experience matter, every learning matters, every voice should be heard. And on that note, if you work with product development or leadership and think that there is a topic that I could help you with, do not be a stranger! We can make each other better.

Here’s to strong women: May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them